Awkward is having to “passionately kiss” (and then kiss two more times) a guy in your acting class.  even if it’s just acting in a scene that you have to perform (for the class).  the first performance is a work-through with the professor stopping the actors and giving advice and having them redo something.  meaning this passionate kiss might have to happen several times.

which might not be all that awkward.  if i had kissed more than one guy in my life before this.   and how do you go about talking about how to do it?  “umm, so how are we going to kiss?  can we, you know, practice?”  saying something like that sounds like a lame way to try and make out with the guy.  who i don’t even like enough to be passionately kissing.  and who i don’t think even likes me that much.  and who blows it off like it’s not a big thing and i’m stupid for asking about it.  it shouldn’t be a big thing, because it’s just a scene for acting.  but what if i’m not really prepared and end up being a horrible kisser?  (remember, i’ve kissed one guy before.  and it was end of freshmen year of high school, aka 4 and a half years ago)

i’m stressing out about this, if you couldn’t tell.

also, i should really be doing homework.  instead i’m going to go to bed.  i need to stop failing at life.  i’ll probably end up flunking out of college.  great.